I received this call on Friday afternoon:
“Some chick is on Leykis talking about your website. And you got a package from New York.”
Because I was very drunk and I had also just eaten 30 oysters in a binge of class, I did not remember this conversation until Sunday night when I arrived home and found this waiting for me:
What you’re looking at is a special pre-release proof copy of my manmazing mansterpiece entitled Men Are Better Than Women. According to the back cover, the book is more quotable than Oscar Wilde with “two wangs”. This is absolutely true.
If you’re angling to get your hands on that copy, forget about it. I gave it away Sunday night during a grand celebration in my honor. To who you ask? Well I’ll tell you that I didn’t give it to a woman. I have always and still do maintain that women are neither allowed to read or buy my book — unless they’re buying it for a man or have a permission slip from one.
But I also didn’t give it to a man.
I gave this copy of Men Are Better Than Women to a pair of hot Australian girls who were in town for something stupid and willing to make out with each other for a chance to have what I told them they couldn’t.
Here’s to you ladies. You just keep getting easier.
If you plan on picking Men Are Better Than Women up at your manliest local book store when it comes out on April 8th, take note of the black spine.