I don’t know much about psychology (on account of it being a bit girly), but I do know something about baseball:
Three strikes and you’re out.
If psychology worked like baseball, Dr. Phil would be sweatin’ bullets the size of Texas and gripping his mantra tighter than a pissed off “rattler”. Three failed interventions and you’re out of the brain game!
Strike One:
Firstly, Dr. Phil failed to cure me of my out of control, and yet dangerously attractive, chauvinism. I’ve gotten your emails, ladies. To answer your questions: the sun glasses are not coming off and neither is the mustache.
Strike Two:
While she was recently recovering in the hospital from insanity, Dr. Phil visited Britney Spears in an attempt to curb her habits of wild partying and poor parenting. He appeared as though a holy angel manifest in the form of what would be the biggest daytime television ratings spectacular of all time. As a businessman, I can see and appreciate that.
Because the first element of an intervention is the support of dear family and friends — from whom Dr. Phil had gotten both express objection and rebuke — the intervention failed miserably. You can read about it in detail if you want, but I’ll sum it up because you’re likely a man and have better things to do with your time than read about celebrities and failure.
Dr. Phil chased Britney to her car.
I have never chased a woman to her car for any reason. And on another note, I think Britney Spears is teaching young girls a good thing:
For fuck’s sake, hold onto your man. Look at what happens without a man!
Look at what happens indeed. You lose your kids, you lose your money, and Dr. Phil starts knocking on your door without your permission for there is no man around to protect you from solicitation. As someone who has successfully navigated Dr. Phil’s tempestuous waters, let me tell you something, dealing with Dr. Phil in a hospital sounds about as much fun as looking at porn in a hospital. No matter how great the porn is, you can’t jerk off, and no matter how bad it is, you can’t stop looking. It’s torture.
Bringing your friends porn while they’re in the hospital: +500 Man Points
I try to do it as often as I can. I also wonder if Dr. Phil made fun of Britney Spears for being shorter than him. Perhaps that is step two of the Phil Recovery Process.
Dr. Phil injects himself into Britney Spears’ trainwreck (Medical humor: Hilarious!)
Dr. Phil ‘betrayed’ Britney’s parents